I forgot to mention but 4weeks ago, on a whim, I booked a trip to Korea and Thailand for Jason and I.
I only have a few minutes to post here as we are literally leaving to go catch a train for the airport. Above, is me at 4 years old, passport when I came to the US before I left Seoul for the US. That is my foster mother (Kim, Kyung Sook) in the picture with me. Supposedly my mom says when I first arrived in the US I used to cry for her alot...I guess was confused why she "left" me.
I suggested this trip to Jason and it began as a trip to sort of escape life and not think about everything. I felt like I really needed a break from HIBM/ARM and just have some time where I don't have to be "that" for a little bit. A trip where I have no accountability and don't know anyone, but the trip slowly turned into the idea of both of us visiting our orphanages and then turned into potentially starting an informal search for our birth family and then potentially meeting another Korean patient.
The past 3 weeks have been about making contacts and playing Nancy Drew. Mostly, I have a band of friends that have been helping me. I read a korean publication about HIBM (called DMRV in asia) in Korea, so I located the doctors from Samsung hospital and emailed them just to see what would happen. To my surprise they replied right away and even read my blog and made comments about it.
Now, this will be my first time meeting Korean patients. Not that I am a slave to only hanging out or feeling comfortable with "my own kind" but there is something interesting about being born in another country and never really having interaction with my heritage until adulthood...same things goes for having HIBM, too.
I actually have met many asian patients. I traveled to Japan 2 years ago to meet a patient group that I later found out was partially formed because of the things I was doing in the US -- which was flattering to say the least.
My trip to Japan was such a memorable one and I met so many people. I heard there were 100 patients in Japan, which is alot for my condition. I went there and did meetings, speeches and though there was a language barrier -- the heart knows no boundaries.
A room filled with people going through the same experience speaks volumes. Anyways, I will probably recollect this trip in another post.
So, what was supposed to be a relaxing trip has turned into potentially finding bits of my past. It is funny, because my condition is my link to my biological past so I wonder if there is someone from my biological past that also has my condition. Even if they don't have it they would be a carrier of the mutated gene.
I really have no schedule for this trip. Since I only booked the trip 4 weeks ago - appointments and meetings are all coming up at the last minute. It is fine that the trip has morphed into a little more than outright leisure -- after all you don't always plan for your adventurers -- they sometimes find you.
This is me back in '83 with my new family. Of course I have always had curiousity of the circumstances that surrounded my birth and wondered about "them", but I never really thought I would really look for them, because I didn't think I could really find anything.
Growing up I had a pretty normal childhood and a family that loved me. I think I went through some normal adjustment periods, but other than that didn't have much anger or resentment about being "abandoned", if that is what you would call it.
I'm sure there are remnants of how it affected me, but don't we all?
I am not really sure I can find any information, but why not try? I must admit as this condition began I have become more curious moreso about my medical history. It is strange how my condition is my only link to that part of my past.
Besides my old faded documents, the clothes on my back and my little korean flag I bought with me on the plane (you can actually see it in the picture above) my condition is the only thing I have from before my life in the US.
Going Back
In 2002 I went back to Korea by myself. It was a great trip and brought on feelings I hadn't anticipated. I was walking then and had just got my first cane specifically for my trip. I remember Korea was not very disability friendly and EVERYONE stares. This time I will be using a wheelchair for the entire trip and I am curious if they still stare ;). My legs are super tired and weak right now. My body feels gross and I am hoping my energy can keep up. I am pretty sure I will be fine.
This is Jason, my husband. He is also a Korea adoptee. That is his mother and father picking him up at the airport. This will be Jason's first time back to Korea and I am interested to see what his reaction is.
OK, I gotta go. Sorry for this horrible ramble. This trip will form as we get there and I don't really know what to expect. Meetings are being formed at the last minute so let's see ;). I kinda prefer things that way. When you do to much planning things don't organically form. I plan to keep a journal and take as many video recordings and pictures as I can. I will share when I return in 2 weeks. Find your adventure today!