Cellular

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“A human body is a conversation going, both within the cells and between the cells, and they're telling each other to grow and to die; when you're sick, something's gone with that conversation.”

-W. Daniel Hillis

I drew and wrote this on March 29th.

I was inspired by microscopic view of white blood cells and nerve bundles.

Due to chronic illness I still haven't been feeling well much of this year and enduring a lot of doctors, tests and work so as a result I haven't been able to go full speed with my children’s book. It's really hard to be creative when you're in a constant list of chronic illness symptoms like pain, utter fatigue, neuropathy and  so much more. I'm still creative but on the really bad days the creativity is mostly happening in my mind as I try to make sense of what's happening. I go through periods of ups & downs with this unknown chronic illness alongside my full-time genetic muscle wasting disorder GNEM that continues to progress me towards complete quadriplegia. I do what I can given the mass of daily barriers.

I'm working on the book now but I had this drawing in my mind and wanted to get it out as a warm-up. It's me lost in a sea of white blood cells. This one focuses on chronic/invisible illness. I’ve been thinking on microscopic levels and how bad cell communication results in diseases and illnesses. And how this glitched communication can hold you hostage, making you a prisoner of your own body.

White Blood Cells (WBCs) fight infections from bacteria, viruses, fungi and other pathogens. These WBCs are made in the bone marrow & travel in the blood throughout the body. Their job is to sense and destroy pathogens.

But if your body has too few or too many WBCs, then your body goes haywire. Low WBC count can result in cancers like leukemia, lymphoma and multiple myeloma, and/or result from chemotherapy and radiation. High white blood cells cause breast cancer, colon cancer, blood cancer, cervical cancer and lung cancer.

Autoimmune disorders (the symptoms I'm experiencing) like MS, Lupus, Sjögren's, Rheumatoid, Hashimoto, Addison's and Graves disease, instruct your body to attack and destroy its own WBCs. Cases for each person can range mild to severe. Viruses can cause low WBCs. A well known specific kind of WBC is HIV.

Today, 50 million Americans, 80 percent of them women, have one or more autoimmune conditions. Before the 80’s you didn’t really hear of autoimmune disorders. In the 90‘s one of 400 people developed an autoimmune disease. Today, it’s one in 12 Americans, and one in nine women have an autoimmune disease. More women are diagnosed each year with an autoimmune disease than breast cancer and cardiovascular disease combined.

In this experience, I've developed much empathy for those with chronic and invisible illness

In this experience, I've developed much empathy for those with chronic and invisible illness. I have met online individuals who are going through unimaginable chronic symptoms that have left them house bound for years. Symptoms like constant unimaginable and untreatable pain, loss of vision and loss of hearing due to environment's toxicities or other external factors. Imagine going through symptoms like these as you watch your body deteriorate over decades and not having answers for why. You would never believe the stories I've heard and the amazing people behind them.

Same goes for genetic disorders like my GNEM. You could never imagine the severity and torture of genetic mutations that result in conditions like “Butterfly Skin” or Epidermolysis Bullosa. And all we, the afflicted, did to deserve these genetic gifts was to be born. That is it.

For cancer and autoimmune diseases only a very low percent of cases are actually genetic, which means most cases are due to toxic chemical filled environment, like benzene found in oil, mold, pesticides and lifestyle. Chemicals are all around us. In our air, in our food. We are all around it except some are more vulnerable or genetically susceptible and exposure can trigger chaos.

We are fairly arrogant when it comes to our mortality. We don't get how little control we really have. We think we have control but much like Mother Nature who can take us out easily, our cells are ultimately in control. Of course humans are so much more than their cellular structure or DNA, but being afflicted can and will dominate your life. Chronic illness is definitely a disability and living in constant rapture, consumed by the vehicle that gets you around, is a daily provocation.

Maybe others don’t understand you but I think of you. Tomorrow I’m sharing a story about a special friend I’ve met. Come back here or any of my social media outlets to check it out.
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