Lost Time

September 23, 2020

With a progressive disease time is always nagging me because how I am physically today won’t be my reality next year. This can make me feel powerless, and documenting is a form of savoring what is...what was. Perhaps it’s also a way to have some kind of control in an uncontrollable situation…

Rock-A-Hoola Water Park, The Abandoned and my thoughts

July 15, 2020

I’m drawn to the abandoned; the stories lost in time, the unheard and the silent loneliness sitting in injustice. I always have been. The abandoned consumed my mind as a child. Abandoned places provoke questions; a lost battle ending in scattered relics of what could have been. It’s a place for imagination, a game of fill-in-the-blank. It’s about feelings of regret, nostalgia and the memories left behind…

Chasing Isolation

May 26, 2020

Connect with the living 🌱 A little chasing of isolation today with not a person in sight.

Our holiday weekend consisted mostly of work but we managed to sneak in some nature. We took a stroll in an isolated neighborhood admiring everyone’s carefully pruned lawns and beautiful quiet nature. After no makeup all year and months of wearing pajamas crusted with food and oily hair, I thought maybe I should try and look human for my audience of one.

Noah Purifoy: How Creative Voices Can Impact Change

May 20, 2020

Noah Purifoy was an African American visual artist, sculptor, founder of Watts Towers Art Center and one of the most known assemblage artists. After Watts Riot of '65, Purifoy dedicated himself to the found object, to the ‘junk...which had begun to haunt our dreams.’

Wheelchair In the Room

May 5, 2020

People with disabilities often feel they have to do twice as much to prove themselves to a society who often views us as “crippled, useless, unable, incompetent and throwaway segments of society…Here is my personal account with job discrimination.

Adoption Story: Mom Looking For Daughter For 44 Years

May 5, 2020

Here’s a little history of how Korean adoptions came to be and a little of my own adoptee experience. I hope you will take a read. To those who have traveled non traditional paths to motherhood and the motherless who gained mothers in unique ways, this one’s for you.

“It’s not uncommon for adoptees to wonder if their biological mother ever thinks of them...I know I have often. We, the lost children, were Korea’s most profitable export. We were the societal fallout post WWII era...My only connection to my past is my genes. My face, my eyes and this genetic muscle-wasting disease I’ve had for twenty years belongs to my biological family. One day I hope to see the eyes who gave me my eyes...and, who knows, maybe she is looking for me, too…” Read more…

Golden Hour

May 4, 2020

thanks for the beautiful rays tonight, california. i love you.

Study of Dark to Light

May 4, 2020

knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darknesses of other people. -carl jung

Late Night Thoughts

May 4, 2020

I’ve been struggling with intense insomnia for last couple years or so but more severely, and every single night, since January. It’s frustrating but especially for a doer like me because my disability already infringed on my productivity and all the personal projects and dreams I want to do and accomplish, but complete lack of sleep further exacerbates this quest…

Love Your Home

April 23, 2020

“Though nothing can bring back the hour

Of splendor in the grass, of glory in the flower;

We will grieve not, rather find

Strength in what remains behind;

In the primal sympathy

Which having been must ever be..."

-William Woodsworth

Lost and Found

April 21, 2020

I began using leg braces in 2001. I hated it. I did everything to hide them and only wore pants...back in the day my options of leg braces were big clunky pieces of milky white plastic. I didn’t feel feminine. I didn't feel attractive and I wouldn’t dare let anyone see my braces, making sure to only remove them in private…

He Isn't My 'Carer' - He's My Husband | BORN DIFFERENT

April 21, 2020

“The disabled are often desexualized, ignored and babied, and if one happens to have a partner, then that person is deemed some kind of saint for even considering taking on the wounded—as if disabled individuals are incapable of inspiring romantic love or eroticism.”

The Deserted and isolated

April 14, 2020

“To the complaint, ‘There are no people in these photographs,’ I respond, There are always two people: the photographer and the viewer.” — Ansel Adams

The forgotten. Couple weekends ago we dropped off some food door-side for friends near downtown LA. Afterwards we took a quick drive through downtown and I snapped this picture from the car. I always find pictures of our face or body receive the most and immediate engagement, which kind of irritates me a bit sometimes. I used to almost exclusively post scenery and candid pictures of strangers but people mostly want the “pretty” selfies. But I find these kinds of quiet moments are so much more real.

Before this self-isolation, on a micro level, there was always the isolated and deserted around every corner existing in their own silent crises. Crisis was always here faintly lurking; people were dying alone from diseases because they couldn’t afford healthcare. People didn’t have homes and became homeless because of gentrification, with greedy real estate buying up areas during financial crashes (corporations and bankers admittedly LOVE financial crashes because it creates the most opportunities for the corporate sector), raising the rent to ungodly levels to purposely force the poor out and onto the streets. To these people, this current virus crisis is nothing new.

If only we listened to the oppressed, the fringe voices who aren’t represented and those who live outside the mainstream paradigm. The least “popular”, from the homeless to people with disabilities, they have experiences and wisdom about humanity. But we don’t listen until it affects us.

My art gallery

Follow my wheelchair travels, art and mini-memoirs at Instagram.com/kamredlawsk and Facebook.

It’s Raining…

April 7, 2020

insomnia.

reconciled by the

calm orchestra of rain falling.

every moment

will one day be a memory.

#insomniathoughts

Art Vs Writing

April 6, 2020

“An intellectual says a simple thing in a hard way. An artist says a hard thing in a simple way.” - Bukowski

Approaching the differences between art and writing and how they are different tools to express my story.

Deserted

March 25, 2020

“What makes the desert beautiful is that somewhere it hides a well.” -Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Holding It Together

March 23, 2020

Rebekah Taussig: “I haven’t felt like I have much to say these days. Haven’t had wisdom or insight or clarity or anything useful to offer. Before the planet erupted into chaos, our own tiny world – navigating cancer treatment and a high risk pregnancy – felt like a lot. We were being held together by one long, thin string. And then the whole planet erupted, and the string snapped, and suddenly we’re out here floating in outer space, not sure which way is up or east, not sure how to hold onto each other, let alone the ground.”

Love, Antosha + Recipient of Anton Yelchin Foundation Artist Grant ❣️

March 20, 2020

Thank you to the Anton Foundation for their 2020 Artist Grant!! I wanted to share my own little journey in discovering who Anton was and I thought his story was important enough for a blog post. Come in and look around…